So, I have been here for 165 days
(not that I have been counting….I just have an app on my phone)
So much has changed over 165 days. In many ways I am feeling more and more settled in as each day passes. I completed my first semester of school (thank you Jesus- because I was quite certain I was too dumb), I love job, I love my kids, life is good. Life is good, but it is not always easy. The last 165 days have been pretty much anything but easy. I have struggled, doubted, cried, been uncomfortable, been scared, been nervous, leapt out of my comfort zone, and so much more. I have discovered what it means to have two places to call home. I have been humbled through the accepting of gifts, and accepting of praise or correction. I have learned. I have learned about what it means to be in ministry professionally, what it means to be in school, what it means to do both at the same time. I have learned about myself and others. I have learned about southern culture and denominational beliefs. I have learned a lot.
In 165 days I have grown, and changed. I have gotten up each day and tried to not allow anxiety or self doubt run my life. Some of those 165 days I succeed and others I failed, but each day I got up. So much has changed in 165 days. But here is the one thing that I have had to cling to; The Lord is with me. He is constant and His love is enduring and everlasting.
In my loneliest and craziest moments He was there. He is not a God who is distant. He has been with me then, alongside of me now, and before me. Without Him I would not have survived day 2, let alone day 164.
I am, because He is.
As we prepare for Christmas, that is what we are celebrating. We celebrate that we have a God that love us to the point that He came to us. We celebrate that we are loved by a God that knew that we could not do it alone. He knew that we needed grace, and forgiveness and love and He sent that as His son.
So, on day 167 I go home to Florida. I go home different. I have changed, as I know “home” has as well. But, I go home to celebrate, to rejoice, to spend time with so many people I love dearly. I am so thankful for the past 165 days, and for what has been done within me because of them.
165 days. Wow.
Here’s to 166….